For the past 6 months or so I’ve been thinking about how I can push myself that little further in all kinds of situations. How can I push my boundaries, take that extra little step into uncertainty and into the unknown. I’d been thinking for a long time that I wanted to put my thoughts and feelings out in the open, being someone who has never really talked about their feelings I had all this built up stuff going through my head that I just wanted to get out. One night I decided to video myself ,I talked about what had been going on in my life for the past couple months. After I’d recorded it I spent the next few hours deciding whether I should publish it to YouTube or not, although I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders I wasn’t sure If I wanted to “put myself out there”. I did publish the video and I was so glad that I took that step out of my Comfort Zone because I realized after I had done the recording, that holding on to all these feelings in my head I needed a place to uncover them. I’ve recorded quite a few videos on YouTube now and continue to do so.
My next step out of my Comfort Zone was to start writing this blog…. again just having a place where I could write about everything I couldn’t always vocalize, I thought at first “what if no one wants to read it” but actually realized it wasn’t about whether people read my blog it was that I was getting out what I needed to. That in itself.. was pushing my own boundaries, not always wanting to admit to myself that I needed to get things out, I continue to learn from myself about how I can move forward.
I also took the plunge and went on Stuttersocial, I kept making excuses to myself as to why I couldn’t go and join one of the hang-outs. It was something I really wanted to participate in, Just being able to talk with people from all over the world who happen to have a common likeness I thought was brilliant. I finally joined my first hang-out back in October time and have been meeting people ever since then and getting to know them.
The most recent episode of stepping out of my Comfort Zone was being interviewed on Stuttertalk. The episode was about singing and stuttering, and Peter asked If I would like to talk a little about this. I said yes, but I was really anxious about it. I definitely had a lot to say about this topic, being a musician and using music to get my feelings out I really could relate to it. I still had this feeling that I couldn’t go “on air” and talk about it though. So I found myself answering the Skype call and once I’d got into it I found that…wow I’m really enjoying myself and I really do want to talk about these things with other people.
I find that I often doubt myself over many different things, but finding that extra step of courage to take the plunge and Just do it, I’ve opened my eyes to a whole load of new possibilities and adventures. Just by saying to yourself to feel that little bit of nervousness can be a good thing, it pushes you to take those chances you really would like to take but think you can’t. It’s good to push yourself it keeps you alive,it keeps you learning new things everyday and I think it makes you a stronger person.